Finally 2013 is upon us, and hopefully soon you’ll be upon me, on Twitter that is. Did I mention I’m on Twitter? (Follow me HERE) Anyhoo, the new year always brings some level of excitement, so I’d like to layout my master plan for 2013:
No Strings Attached
It’s the ultimate romantic agreement right? Actually, I’m referencing all the Phony Freebies out there. How many times do you get a mailer stating you’ve won a free prize and all you have to do is claim it at your local auto dealer, or you’re offered something “100% FREE” online only to provide 100% of your credit card number? Don’t worry, the Freeloader sniffs out these Phony Freebies, and this year I’m plotting against them. I promise to only recommend the true freebies. You can be of service too. If you find a Phony Freebie or a great true freebie, don’t hesitate to comment below or email me HERE.
Have I mentioned my affinity for older women? Apparently these silver felines have started to frequent the same hangouts, and in some cases, certain establishments may have even been created with the singular intention of making a match out of guys like me and women like them. So, as the true squire of local flare, I’m vouching to visit at least one of these establishments in the first few months of 2013. Here’s to hoping I find a forty-something minx to fend off the cold.
Return of the Mack
Maybe it’s because I spent the majority of my formative years living in the decade, but I sure love a 90’s jam mixed in with my variety. I mean, come on, “C.R.E.A.M.” by Wu-Tang Clan might as well be the inspiration for my freeloader lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an eclectic guy, but the 90’s do it for me. The music mash that Jack FM encapsulates is a revelation, and an essential part of my day. There’s just something about the sweet sonic bops of Ace of Base, and the snap crackling snare of Spin Doctors’ “Two Princes” that gets my motor running. This year I plan to celebrate the “Everlong” era every chance I get, and my plan involves you. Stay tuned.
Alright 2013, time to show your mettle. And always remember, the chicken and the egg are only strange bedfellows outside of Arkansas.